i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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