I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
