I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We need to get me chipped asap
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
