Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize