Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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