we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
