If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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