She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
