How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hippo gnu deer
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
