I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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