You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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