im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
