i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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