doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
