i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
