I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
