you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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