I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
How's work?
Spinning.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
