nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
