k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
