garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
