i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize