batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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