I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
