thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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