I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
