Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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