My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
