I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
