i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
