i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
