Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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