I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
love makes seman taste better
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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