I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
vagina is talking i cant
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
