i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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