I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
