I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
