I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
