so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
