I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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