the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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