for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
