dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
