bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
