Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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