It's like God shit irony all over that family
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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