Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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