In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
where does the pee come out of this thing
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
