what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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