I chose taco bell over sex...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.