We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
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Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction