If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
