8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
