My Higher Power is John Stamos
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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