I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
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