Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
