She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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