Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
These tits shall not be calmed
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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