I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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