we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
