smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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